still making stupid decisions on occasion however..

from the deep, dark depths of misery I have emerged enlightened..

Congratulations Little Brother..on your new adventure. Welcome to the family Heidi, we're thrilled to have you.

No Expectations

Yet so many possibilities..
The universe has conspired a great deal in my favor as of late. I'm very grateful to live such a fulfilling existence.. for all the chaos of it, it is a great privilege to exist in a world of so many possibilities.

So here we go..on with the show!

On a Lighter Note..

Recently having become proficient..proficient only according to myself..in the art of making pot brownies, conclusions have come to light regarding the quality of the product. Having made more batches for others than for personal consumption, I offered to assist a family member in making a batch for himself last night. Due to the high risk and investment of the process, it always makes me nervous to utilize resources belonging to someone else. Upon the request of another family member, we decided to test the results upon completion.

In my limited experience partaking in the consumption of the product, I have concluded context plays a role in the type of "high" experienced. Our context was lounging after dinner watching season 2 of Big Love (creepy..) and then playing Monopoly on the Wii. I have noticed that when stationary (or at least relatively stationary), in a comfortable location, I don't always feel "high" as I would if having smoked the product. I feel clear minded yet a bit ethereal. So upon leaving for home at the end of the night I was asked for my assessment regarding the quality of our endeavor. At the time, I was of the opinion they were a bit mellow. A cause of concern because I did not want to disappoint in my execution. Once I was on my way home, I realized I was sufficiently baked. I began to reflect on past brownie experiences. The conclusion is as follows: consuming weed in the form of a brownie gives me a mellow, diaphanous high that I really enjoy. I feel more clear minded than when I smoke yet floaty, relaxed, and happy.

I hope this feeling is sufficient for my patrons. I think my brownies are effective. They may not send you off into a featherbrained oblivion, but they do give you a light and fluffy feeling of joy.

There is a great deal of pain in my heart. However there is a great deal of joy in my life. I am strong. I will survive the betrayal of a lost soul. I am a good person who will prevail in my endeavors. Are you? My only fault is having trusted too much, having given so much of myself to another only to be demeaned..

Horoscope

While snorkeling in the ocean off the coast of Hawaii's Big Island, I had a conversation with a dolphin. She gave me clarity concerning a question I've been wondering about. I asked her, "What can Pisceans do to make sure their overflowing emotions don't cause the kind of chaos that undermines their ability to get things done?" I swear the dolphin answered me telepathically, because even though I couldn't understand the hubbub of shrieks and clicks she unleased in response to my inquiry, my mind was suddenly filled with the following thoughts: Pisceans must love their oceanic emotions unconditionally...must see their endless inundation as a privilege and a blessing...must learn to surf the endless tidal wave not with a fearful sense of being a victim but with an exhilirated gratitude for the primal power of adventure.

Opportunities
to find deeper powers within ourselves
come when life seems most challenging.

Joseph Campbell

We must be willing to get rid of
the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed
before the new one can come.

Joseph Campbell

Treasure

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
there lies your treasure.

Joseph Campbell